Sharing reflections after dawn prayer. From last year to this year, it seems God has been training our family in the wilderness, teaching us to rely solely on Him. Seeing the wilderness of Israel/Palestine firsthand allowed for deeper meditation, and I believe we directly and indirectly experienced the anxiety and worry of wilderness life—eating manna daily for 40 years without knowing when it would end. Moses must have struggled in his wrestling prayer with God on the mountain, but down below, Aaron and Miriam, faced with the daily reality of needing to eat and survive, ultimately succumbed to the pressure of the crowd demanding a golden calf. I knew this was clearly wrong, but I understood their situation—it was like dealing with a child’s constant whining and tantrums, where you just end up saying, “Fine, do whatever you want!”

I confess that over the past year, our family life has also been one of daily reliance on each other, and we faced many difficulties within the family stemming from the gap between ideals and reality. Especially during last year’s trip to Israel/Palestine, all of that seemed to explode and wash over us like a tidal wave. While I was in the U.S. finalizing my permanent residency paperwork, preparing for a new job, and looking for a house, my wife was staying at her parents’ home. Facing an uncertain future while preparing for the trip, she even fell ill. It was probably the most difficult time of her life. I too struggled desperately to make a life in the US, but all plans fell through, leaving me feeling like I stood before the Red Sea. Yet astonishingly, a path opened for us to return to Korea, and unexpectedly, we settled in Songdo. Just as the manna ceased when we entered the land of Canaan, we are now overcoming our family’s real-world problems through our own strength. Yet even within this process, remarkable things are happening one by one. When the manna stopped and they first sowed seeds and waited, the Israelites must have faced even greater hardship. I imagine how joyful they must have been when they harvested their first edible grain. Fifteen years ago, a woman I met in Yanji, China, recommended me to become an advisor at a prominent Korean game company. The advisory fee I received felt like my first harvest.

Last week, while attending new believer’s training at church, I was reminded of the assurance of salvation and reflected on baptism—being submerged in water to symbolically experience death. This brought back memories of my baptism seven years ago at Cornerstone Church. Now, in Songdo, this Canaan land, I reaffirm my commitment to live daily in spiritual battle, following the vision God has given me. I sincerely thank my wife, who has followed me through immense emotional hardship and an uncertain future over the past year with tears and sacrifice. I also thank my sons, who are bravely adapting to the major environmental changes. Of course, I also express my renewed gratitude to both sets of parents and all the brotherly families who always pray for our household. Perhaps because it’s after dawn prayer, the morning sunlight feels brighter and fresher than ever. I start the day by walking the children to school!