It was truly wonderful to share something meaningful with my wife as we read the book 《The Meaning of Marriage》 together. I extend my heartfelt gratitude to Pastor Lee Woong-jin and his wife from Grace Generation Church for leading our online meetings. Honestly, since we took marriage classes early in our marriage and even completed Father School and Mother School in our mid-30s, I strongly believed we didn’t need additional marriage education. However, over several weeks of reading and discussing the book with the pastor and his wife, my closed heart gradually opened, and eventually, the time spent together itself became a joy. Compared to the period when I was struggling with depression, our relationship has recovered significantly, but for us, who had stagnated at a certain stage, this gathering became a new ‘breakthrough’.

Like the theme of Chapter 1, I too once held distorted views and fantasies about marriage. During college, working at a foreign startup with a high salary and mingling with venture company CEOs, I sometimes developed misguided perceptions about women. Still, it was fortunate I never let go of my faith. Meeting my wife at that miraculous timing—as I was rushing to marry as the eldest son after my father’s sudden heart surgery—was truly providential. On my way to an important sales meeting in the provinces, my wife’s words over the phone—“I’ll pray for you”—resonated deeply and confirmed my conviction that I must marry a faith-filled partner. At the time, she captivated me instantly with her sophisticated style and open-mindedness. Unlike me, the eldest son who was awkward at expressing love, my wife, who grew up receiving much love and has a gift for caring, slowly transformed my inner self.

After marriage, even amidst a busy career and nighttime MBA program, she diligently served as a choir member and English worship assistant. Later, we moved to the US for an overseas assignment opportunity. From LA to San Jose, and now at Songdo International Church, our faith journey has continued, bringing significant changes to our marriage. I believe the secret to a successful marriage isn’t focusing on each other, but looking toward the shared direction and vision. Recently, after reading Kelly Choi’s book, I shared with my wife the process of quantifying life goals and embedding them into our subconscious. I resolved that I would stand by her side at that place of success. I still dream of living in a house overlooking the LA ocean, and every dawn, I continue my QT, news analysis, trading, business management, and exercise.

Chapter 6, ‘Rejoice in the Blessing of Difference,’ written by Mrs. Kathy Keller, explores happiness through acknowledging and harmonizing gender differences. The analogy comparing ‘gender roles’ to ‘a wonderful performance’ was particularly striking. Just as a wonderful performance is achieved when both husband and wife excel in their respective roles, thorough rehearsal (preparation) is essential to avoid flustering on the actual stage. I was reminded anew that the most important audience watching that rehearsal is our ‘children’. While the authority to rule given by God at the beginning is the same for both men and women, the roles of husband and wife in governing the world must necessarily differ. Dividing roles creates far more efficient and joyful outcomes. Previously, I handled economic activities while my wife managed finances, but after our youngest child’s birth, my wife experienced burnout, disrupting our balance. Problems began when I transformed into a multi-jobber, taking on both economic activities and financial management. As income sources diversified and became irregular, my wife found managing finances difficult, leading to mutual misunderstandings. I dismissed her need for mutual dependence as mere ‘dependence,’ while she misunderstood my desire for independence as ‘selfishness.’ The confusion when I transitioned from a respectable office worker to a delivery driver only widened that gap. I regret that if I had entrusted investment profit management to her back then, I could have recognized her as a stronger ally.

It was a blessing to share the three elements of happiness (family, health, freedom) mentioned in the recently read book, The Fast Lane to Wealth, with my wife and confirm our shared goals. However, our differing perspectives on the process remain. Rather than wondering why my wife can’t change, I decided to wake up at dawn first to handle household chores and understand her as she is. I respect the time she spends enjoying variety shows, and in that time, I listen to audiobooks while exercising and seeking new opportunities. I reflect on my past self who wasted time on games and entertainment. Borrowing the teachings of Pastor Keller and his wife, I will continue to steadily document our journey as a couple, gradually changing together.