During Sunday sermon time, listening to our senior pastor’s testimony brought many thoughts to mind. He shared that right after deciding to enter seminary and quitting his consulting firm, he received a job offer from McKinsey & Company in Silicon Valley—his dream workplace. Yet he turned down that sweet offer and chose the path of theology. This story made me reflect on my own past.

In 2017, I resigned after my contract with the Gyeonggi Creative Economy Innovation Center ended. I briefly joined a startup accelerator company where I had previously made angel investments, but after much deliberation over conflicts of interest within the management team, I resigned again. While searching for new opportunities, I received an offer for an unexpectedly high-level position from Microsoft and had passed the second interview. Yet, I was also wavering between this and a vague dream of starting my own company.

Eventually, I planned to start a company with a renowned developer-turned-CEO from the gaming industry. However, instead of founding my own venture, I chose to join an existing startup. There, I planned a new game project and successfully raised funds through an Initial Coin Offering (ICO). But once the funds were secured, I faced management’s decision to change the business plan and develop a cryptocurrency gambling platform. I ultimately decided to resign again. During this process, I felt overwhelmed by my practical limitations. My neglect of self-development over the years made me feel like a low-level character, a naive and brave beginner user entering a final boss-level mission.

During this time, I meditated on what trial God had given me and what cross I must bear. Words that once sounded abstract now come to me as clear realizations. Looking back at the countless decisions, big and small, made in every moment, I couldn’t help but reflect on how I had always placed myself in God’s seat while walking this ‘narrow path’. Building my career by taking on roles and responsibilities beyond my capabilities was entirely due to God’s help and fateful encounters. Yet I was arrogant, mistaking it for my own ability. Like Peter dreaming of a full catch, I cast my net thinking, ‘Just this once.’

I wondered what it would be like if Jesus came to me today, as He came to Nicodemus, and told me to lay down everything and follow Him. If in the past I hesitated, mistakenly thinking I possessed too much, now I resolve to follow the Lord willingly, like a delivery driver delivering happiness daily. With this resolve, I leave these words.