The one-line summary of the book was that we are overprotecting our children in the real world, but underprotecting them online. I knew that giving a cell phone to a young child was bad for them, but this book made me realize the harms in concrete terms, and I was shocked. I learned that boys can develop a distorted view of women due to indiscriminate exposure to online pornography, especially during adolescence, and that girls can be driven to depression and anorexia through social media. And when the Facebook files were released, I was reminded that even the company knew about the harms of social media and tried to cover it up, and I was glad I had gotten off Facebook and Instagram long ago.

I realized that the harms of gaming are even worse for boys, and I reflected on my own behavior in giving my younger son a tablet or phone – I knew that stimulation through natural experiences in the real world no longer engages him, especially when the fast-moving images and intense stimulation cause excessive dopamine release, but I knew the consequences were more serious than I realized. It also made sense to me that girls are more influenced by social media because of visual social comparison and perfectionism, and I could see why online bullying is more prevalent among girls because their aggression is more social.

In fact, I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels sorry for the problems and disadvantages of digital devices while applying them to the children around me, but applying them as leniently as possible to my own children. When I go to a restaurant or attend a meeting with my children, I find myself saying “just this once” or “just for five minutes” to my child who begs for my phone, and then forgetting about it. To solve this problem, the author suggests a number of solutions, but one that stood out to me was the idea of developing crisis coping skills through outdoor activities such as camping. Of course, this is limited in Korean camping sites where wifi is not available, but when I took my kids to the mountains and the sea, they were more curious, exploring insects, digging for shells in the sand, and naturally disconnecting from their digital devices.

Before I start explaining the evils of social media or limiting screen time for a generation that has become more anxious since the birth of the smartphone, I realized that I would have to cut back on social media and read books first. The book has its limitations in that the author is a humanist with an evolutionary worldview that suggests boys and girls have evolved differently, and a reverence for nature and spiritual practices, but as a parent of young children, it made me think about how to raise a healthy and happy generation that has been using smartphones since birth. I need to start planning a camping trip with my family soon!