After the long holiday break, I’ve returned to my daily routine. Before Lunar New Year, I suffered terribly from gastroenteritis, but thankfully, I’ve recovered my health. Going through this experience made me realize once again how profoundly grateful I am for the simple act of breathing healthily every day. Moreover, that time spent lying sick in bed became a precious opportunity to have deep conversations with my wife. Through AI coaching, we analyzed my wife’s personality and the various difficulties we faced during our marriage. This allowed me to deeply understand facts I hadn’t known before, and even the underlying intentions hidden behind them.

What surprised me most was the emotional void within our family. I saw how this void manifested in my relationships with others after becoming an adult. I realized that the environments I had taken for granted were simply ones I had become accustomed to and conditioned by. This connected to my father’s prolonged absence as an overseas expatriate, the long-term presence of my grandfather who was ill, the pain my mother had to endure accepting that reality, and how that pain was then projected onto me, the eldest son, along with immense expectations. I was profoundly shocked to realize this environment was what had emotionally withered me. Inside me, a ‘child who never cried’ remained, frozen in its growth.

​From childhood, I had to bear excessive responsibility and expectations, causing only my external self to grow disproportionately while my inner self remained stunted. The moment I realized I had endured by filling that inner void solely with my mother’s encouragement, an inexplicable cry burst forth from within me. I was finally confronting the wounded child inside. Now, I intend to shake off those old wounds and pain and rise up. Filled with the love of Jesus within me, I resolved to forgive all the past and begin the new year with complete restoration. Stepping over the pain, I will walk this year forward with a heart made stronger.